What texting my wife "goodnight" has taught me about love and being a man.

Four nights a week (which feels like a lot) I don't say goodnight to my wife. Instead, I send her a goodnight text as she falls asleep without me. Probably makes me sound like a bad husband. What's worse is when I tell you where I'm at as I send that message. You guessed it, I'm at the bar. The smell of beer and the shouts of people howling at the tvs and their favorite sports teams surround me as I sneak in a quick goodnight text. Honestly, I'm not a fan of being there, but it's my job and it helps pay the bills. Okay, we won't sugar coat it, I hate being there, but I've learned to make the best of it because my wife and I depend on it.

Every week, for the past eight months or so, our grocieries have come directly out of the money I make through tips at the bar. Waiting tables has plenty of downsides, but getting paid well is not one of them. I can remember one of the most repeated phrases about marriage being, "don't go to bed angry with each other." I think that this is pure gold, and so far Megan and I have not once broken this rule. Granted, we've had some really late nights, but we haven't broken it. Now, I wish that every night of the week I could fall asleep with my wife laying on my chest as I say goodnight to her, but four nights a week I'm shooting her off a text saying the same thing and simply; it's not the same.

But, through all of this in the past year or so, I've come to learn a thing or two about love and what it means to me to be a man. First things first, I'm very recently married. I should be the last person on earth to give marriage advice, but there's one thing I know for sure about love. It's something I learned from Jesus when I read about him loving his friends so much that he washed their feet. Even the feet of a man who was about to betray him. He put others before himself. This should be a love that we all want to emulate, especially in marriage. I want to emulate that, and I think I do every night that I pull myself up and go into work. I certainly don't go for my own enjoyment; I'd rather have my teeth pulled. But, every shift that I head into work, is money that I can use to provide for my wife. I put her first in my life when I clock in because she's the entire reason I'm there.

What I've learned about being a man on the other hand is that I'm not the most important thing in my life. My family is. (Behind Jesus of course) I first learned this from my own father. My whole life he's been a mechanic for the local county. Now, when the weather was rough and the snow plows were out, he had to go in to work. Period. This typically meant really long days and really great overtime pay. Since I grew up in Colorado, and this was the situation Dad was in, I can remember having to face the reality that Dad wouldn't be around for a ton of Christmas celebrations. If he got called in, he went. Now, in my life, I could make ends meet with the income that Megan and I recieve from the church. It would be very tight, but we could make it happen. I don't mind hot dogs and mac 'n cheese, but that's not what it means to put your family first. Putting my family first means that I make sure they're taken care of. It means that when I don't want to go into work and smell like cigarettes and beer, I do it anyway because that's how Megan eats something that's a little better than mac 'n cheese. I love my wife, and I will always make sure that I can provide for her. Maybe this is old school thinking. I don't think it is. I know she would do just fine without me, but I'm here to make sure she doesn't have to figure that out herself.

#Marriage #Work #Love